Support Kweller Prep, sponsor of The Classic:
LET’S GET right to the point: claiming girls feel entitled to promposals is stupid.
In a school dominated by compelling young women, the mere fact that facile and sexist arguments like this are able to surface is baffling.
The idea that female students seek felicity and an embellishment of reputation from their partners is an age old assertion that still has a dangerous impact today. A modern reincarnation of this is seen in what many high school seniors know too well: promposals.
To many, promposals are often seen as the highlight of the season aside from prom itself. The idea of promposals is exciting, whether we are mere observers or lucky recipients. Like marriage proposals, promposals vary from simplistic to grandiose, often requiring meticulous planning. Though the executions vary, one thing that remains constant is the sentiment behind a promposal. While one may dislike the idea of promposals, the sentiment should never be neglected; rather, it should be celebrated more than the action itself.
Whether or not you want a promposal, you probably see them on social media, hear about them happening, and mention them in passing conversations with friends. We admit it: promposals, as generous as they may be, are tedious, time consuming, and laborious. However, to condemn these willing gestures as forceful demands from girls refutes their significance and creates double standards.
If you’re looking to accuse, blame society. The belief that girls crave attention and express grandiose desires portrays girls as needy and shallow; the assertion perpetuates sexist ideologies that suggest that women are superficial. Society’s pressure highlights its expectation of men to be initiators, askers, promposers. In doing so, men are inadvertently prepared to continuously have to prove their masculinity. Alternatively, the same pressure discourages women from initiating conversations and asking a guy out themselves. For the girls who do make moves, they’re stigmatized with notions of desperation and neediness.
Society’s judgment of a girl’s willingness to take the initiative then turns into a vicious cycle – we shame those girls who are willing to step out of their comfort zones from being considered “needy,” yet we also shame those who are not as proactive or on the receiving end of these first moves. After recognizing the issue that this cycle presents for young women, we begin to see how all parties involved are harmed by the societal pressures and the routine continues for centuries. If we are to truly equalize the playing field for both gender roles, then we need to become more accepting of girls promposing to their significant others.
If you ever feel pressured or burdened in any way to prompose to a girl, please do yourself a favor and simply communicate your feelings in a sincere manner. Do not undertake a promposal that you are unwilling to carry out just because society creates a stigma of necessity around the practice.